It's snowing in Oberlin. It has actually been snowing since Friday night. I'm sure we are approaching the one foot mark of snow.
Last year I was horribly ill during the one big snow on Valentine's day leaving me unable to go outside. So lets say I'm really happy with the snow. Never mind exam period. On my way back to my room yesterday I saw a particularly nice snow drift and plopped down to make a snow angle! That was a really deep snow angel.
Two some hours later after finishing my Philosophy take -home exam I decided it would be a good time to eat and go to the japanese history study session. It was at this time that I realized i was missing something, something rather important, that held my license, student id, and credit cards. I had lost my wallet.
I nearly turned my room inside out looking for the wallet to no avail. I began to panic, what if I lost it in King when I was taking stuff over there with my room mate? What if I lost it in the snow? That was two hours ago and it was still snowing! I went ahead and printed my philosophy final to go ahead and turn it in in King while I looked to my wallet. So then philosophy was completely out of the way but I still had no wallet. I dug around in the snow where I made the snow angel and scanned the entire path I walked from king to my dorm several times. Still no wallet.
I called Safety nd Security to see if they found it and checked the lost and found at Wilder Desk, but still not one had turned in my wallet. I ended up skipping the Japanese History review session, I was too stressed out to deal with it, plus in my current state, it wasn't like I would retain anything. So I turned to Ni and said I was leaving.
"But what about the review session."
I shrugged and said, "I'm prefectly confident I'll do fine in this class. I did all the readings and attended every lecture, I'm not worried."
A girl standing near by was clearly shocked by my lack of stress about teh course. Ni offered to give me notes of the review session, but I told her I would be fine without them and that she didn't have to unless she wanted to, then left.
I scanned the way I had walked from King several more times after I returned. The last time I had ventured out after once again turning my room inside out I saw a curious spiral of snow form on the ground at my feet. As I watched it, It exploded upwards and I quickly found myself engulfed within a snow tornado. it was cold and the snow moving in the forty mph winds stung. This happened several times as I ventured to my snow angel and dug in the near foot of snow gathered there. I didn't find my wallet.
Ultimately I told myself to relax and wait till morning. By the time I had realized the wallet was missing it was dark, and the darkness was most likely teh reason I had yet to find the wallet. I set my alarm to wake me up far earlier than I needed to wake to go to my Marine Science exam at 9:00 in the morning, and went to sleep. Let's leave it at last night's dreams were really really weird. yeah, damn those satanic cursed babies and bunny rabbits, never mind the people eating giant octopus tentacle like worms. they suck too.
8:30 in the morning this morning, I ventured to my snow angel one last time. The side walks had been plowed, and I sincerely hoped my wallet hadn't fallen along the side walk and been buried that way. In the snow angel I once again dug around where my pockets would have been and finally found my wallet buried on the left side of the snow angel. The smile that split across my face in that moment made me feel wonderful. I shook the snow off the recently recovered article and returned it to its rightful place in my right back pocket. The smile almost never left my face as I walked over to Severance where I would take my Marine Science final shortly, not even when we found the doors were locked and had to wait outside in the cold.
Once we got inside and began to warm up I realized that my butt was cold. I guess it takes a while for a wallet left freezing in the snow overnight to warm up.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Active Dreaming
I've been stressed, exams are approaching far too quickly for their own good, and I am tired. I should be working on my Japanese final project presentation, but I'm just not ready. It'll happen in due time and before the due date. I know it will. For now I'm just breathing.
Anyway, when I get stressed, I tend to dream alot more, and with a lot more vivid dreams.
Last night's dream included my parents inviting some people to the Opera my brother was playing in, but the invitees had to come up from Texas or some far southern location, a portion of the dream was of them speeding down the highway to arrive to the show on time. None of this included me, for I was on the edge of a narrow cliff in a river valley looking down upon the still, black waters of the river. On the ledge with me were three small children, the oldest no more than 10. Of these children I only knew one, that being Brayden, a child I know in reality. Who knows where the rest of these children came from.
The four of us stood in our swimming gear on the cliff ledge. I was the caretaker, and I knew my mom was further off in the distance with Delaney. We were planning on doing a little bit of diving, but I was having second thoughts. The water was black (but not in a filthy sense, it was just....black) and as a result I couldn't tell how deep it was. I could see rocks protruding from the water near the edge and feared we would injure ourselves jumping in. But before I could stop him Brayden leapt off the ledge and disappeared into the water.
He resurfaced by one of the rocks and yelled out, "OW!".
"Brayden! Are you okay?"
"I'm okay, I'm not bleeding." And with that he started swimming to shore. I did not trust him to be okay. Not bleeding is not the same as uninjured. I yelled for him not to move until I came down to check on him, but was already on shore and about to disappear into a cavern that lead back to the ledge. With another urgent yell, I get him to pay attention and not leave. I look into the water nervously. I'm alot bigger than a 7 yr old, and I didn't want to leap into shallow water. With a deep breath I take a running start and jump near the edge of the ledge as possible for maximum distance. I landed a lot further from shore than Brayden and came to be fully submerged in the deep midstream water. And here I got into trouble.
It occured to me just as I came to be fully submerged, the water is deeper farther from shore, but the current is faster too. I found myself caught within the current, fighting to stay in place and inable to surface. After a struggle, I surface, gasping and swim to Brayden where he clung to the very rock he landed by. The water was deep here too, but not so fast. I checked him over for any wounds.
"I didn't get hurt," he claimed, "I was jsut shocked when I hit the rock." An lo and behold, he was completely uninjured. He had broken the plastic on him fin where his heel had struck rock, but he was perfectly fine.
That's the part of the dream I remember most vividly. I cannot remember much of any sensation during the dream, but I do distinctly remember the feel of the current and the drag against my limbs that prevented me from swimming up and out of danger, pressure on all sides with more on one side pushing me with the current.
My dreams are a little too real sometimes.
Anyway, when I get stressed, I tend to dream alot more, and with a lot more vivid dreams.
Last night's dream included my parents inviting some people to the Opera my brother was playing in, but the invitees had to come up from Texas or some far southern location, a portion of the dream was of them speeding down the highway to arrive to the show on time. None of this included me, for I was on the edge of a narrow cliff in a river valley looking down upon the still, black waters of the river. On the ledge with me were three small children, the oldest no more than 10. Of these children I only knew one, that being Brayden, a child I know in reality. Who knows where the rest of these children came from.
The four of us stood in our swimming gear on the cliff ledge. I was the caretaker, and I knew my mom was further off in the distance with Delaney. We were planning on doing a little bit of diving, but I was having second thoughts. The water was black (but not in a filthy sense, it was just....black) and as a result I couldn't tell how deep it was. I could see rocks protruding from the water near the edge and feared we would injure ourselves jumping in. But before I could stop him Brayden leapt off the ledge and disappeared into the water.
He resurfaced by one of the rocks and yelled out, "OW!".
"Brayden! Are you okay?"
"I'm okay, I'm not bleeding." And with that he started swimming to shore. I did not trust him to be okay. Not bleeding is not the same as uninjured. I yelled for him not to move until I came down to check on him, but was already on shore and about to disappear into a cavern that lead back to the ledge. With another urgent yell, I get him to pay attention and not leave. I look into the water nervously. I'm alot bigger than a 7 yr old, and I didn't want to leap into shallow water. With a deep breath I take a running start and jump near the edge of the ledge as possible for maximum distance. I landed a lot further from shore than Brayden and came to be fully submerged in the deep midstream water. And here I got into trouble.
It occured to me just as I came to be fully submerged, the water is deeper farther from shore, but the current is faster too. I found myself caught within the current, fighting to stay in place and inable to surface. After a struggle, I surface, gasping and swim to Brayden where he clung to the very rock he landed by. The water was deep here too, but not so fast. I checked him over for any wounds.
"I didn't get hurt," he claimed, "I was jsut shocked when I hit the rock." An lo and behold, he was completely uninjured. He had broken the plastic on him fin where his heel had struck rock, but he was perfectly fine.
That's the part of the dream I remember most vividly. I cannot remember much of any sensation during the dream, but I do distinctly remember the feel of the current and the drag against my limbs that prevented me from swimming up and out of danger, pressure on all sides with more on one side pushing me with the current.
My dreams are a little too real sometimes.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
You promise?
This is a poetic form of a scene from one of my many stories. This one is actually a collaborative work with two friends, tentatively titled Unveiled, but desperately in need of a better name.
A young boy,
The prince,
Stood before the portal.
Enemies are fast approaching outside.
With his and held out to his childhood love
He cries out,
“Blue! Come with me!”
“I can’t,”
Said the girl,
A common girl.
She could not go
For the portal would only hold two
And the boy prince and his brother must go
The prince protested,
Blue smiled,
“You have to go.
Don't worry….I’ll be right behind you.”
“You promise?”
“I promise, I’m always right behind you.”
“I’ll wait for you on the other side!”
With that, he fled through the portal…
And the portal closed.
The boy’s memories are lost along the way,
He forgets what he’s waiting for.
Meanwhile the girl and the guard, her sister,
Have been left to die.
Oh how the flames did rise
On that little hut,
With the guard and little Blue inside.
The guard dies,
But Blue survives
Scared and alone.
Scarred and forgotten.
A young boy,
The prince,
Stood before the portal.
Enemies are fast approaching outside.
With his and held out to his childhood love
He cries out,
“Blue! Come with me!”
“I can’t,”
Said the girl,
A common girl.
She could not go
For the portal would only hold two
And the boy prince and his brother must go
The prince protested,
Blue smiled,
“You have to go.
Don't worry….I’ll be right behind you.”
“You promise?”
“I promise, I’m always right behind you.”
“I’ll wait for you on the other side!”
With that, he fled through the portal…
And the portal closed.
The boy’s memories are lost along the way,
He forgets what he’s waiting for.
Meanwhile the girl and the guard, her sister,
Have been left to die.
Oh how the flames did rise
On that little hut,
With the guard and little Blue inside.
The guard dies,
But Blue survives
Scared and alone.
Scarred and forgotten.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
End of the Semester
The end of the Fall Semester is fast approaching. To say I feel the beginnings of stress would be an understatement. There are way too many things I have to do before the end of the semester, this can't be good for my health. Presently, I have all the things I need to get done before the end of the semester written on some purple post-its Jen bought for me. The post-its are oddly fitting for the occasion; written in a darker purple font on the note is, "I can't have a nervous breakown...It's not covered by my health insurance."
Despite the severe stress I can see on the near horizon, I am not working. I'm actually chatting with friends I have not seen or spoken to in a long time. Thus I make myself happy. My happiness comes before school, duty and stress. Why should I get myself sick and miserable over something I don't really like or want to do? I'll write more later, I don't feel like blogging.
Despite the severe stress I can see on the near horizon, I am not working. I'm actually chatting with friends I have not seen or spoken to in a long time. Thus I make myself happy. My happiness comes before school, duty and stress. Why should I get myself sick and miserable over something I don't really like or want to do? I'll write more later, I don't feel like blogging.
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