.

I would just like to say, it sucks to know that your period is coming. It's like a black cloud hanging ominously in your future that you can't ignore with forewarning. In high school and still today, my mom has this canny ability to predict my period down to the day. We'll be in the car and she'll just suddenly say, "Hey, don't you get your period today or tomorrow?" I won't even be expecting it, then the following day, lo and behold, I have my period. I avoid calling her around this time of the month to avoid the forewarning.

But obviously my body can't have that. Three to four days before my period comes, while I am still firmly planted in the denial stage that it will ever return again, I don't feel as perky as usual. Not all day, just bouts of, "Meh, I don't feel like dealing with you!" I'll cramp for a moment then it goes away, so I can pretend it was a stomach cramp, or indigestion instead.

And the final clue, my dreams change content. I don't necessarily remember all of them, but around that time of the month, the dreams are most definitely all rated above pg-13. Let's just keep it at that. Nice of my hormones to invade my dreams and tell me, "Guess what? You're fertile, bitch, but its a limited time offer! Act now!" At least I know based on dreams alone when to have sex to get pregnant, or the other way around. Too bad I have no relationship for this to help out with. What the hell, Body, I mean really. The biological clock is not supposed to tick so strong until I'm older. I'm not nearly old enough to be dealing with this crap. Never mind the random pregnancy and mother dreams. Way too damn many of those.

But at least I'm quotable. My room mate just reminded me of something funny i said yesterday: "I wanted to laugh because her face made me want to cry, but I was too busy crying."

Yes, that makes everything all better. Just laugh and forget everything you just read.